two interesting signs at U of T 

thing no.2 

I wanted to walk through the empty streets
And feel something constant under my feet,
But all the news reports recommended thatI stay indoors
Because the air outside will make our cells
Divide at an alarming rate until our shells
Simply cannot hold all our insides in,
And that's when we'll explode
(and it won't be a pretty sight)

hosting "ambassadors"
What should I do with the kid!?
Help!
(the kid refers to my friend motonari, and I'm just looking for ideas for what to do with him while he's here.)

edit:

also, I've changed addresses again no NOT because of what you said, so update your links or favourites or just re-memorize it. it's been changed on my msn profile and dan's blog anyway. also, courtesy of Dan the techno Man, that horrible blogger ... thing at the top of the site is dead, and I have links. And then I followed Dan's example and started a music, etc. link thing. near the bottom on the left. so you know.

edit 2:
AND I hate Billy Corgan. http://www.netphoria.org/#ihafault
careful billy... your inner fucktard is showing.

Songs I like . A lot. (in no particular order)
birdcage
the pool
3 libras
bells for her
emu for my dear
to sheila
all apologies
get me away from here I'm dying
paint pastel princess
blister in the sun
rain
it's not up to you
thirty-three
song for eric
if she wants me
ana's song
isobel
angie (tori version)
my dream girl don't exist
undo
emotion sickness
joga

drive ins and irritation
I. am pissed off. I don't really mind being treated like shit. Hell, I think I've demonstrated this a hell of a lot of times. However, when it comes to my friends and guests being treated like shit also, I fucking take offense.

And now I am no longer angry. Thank god for writing things out.

me; 

tori thanks to hereinmyhead.com

intricacy
Webs woven around the sound, rippling on the lake and dropping somewhere on this leaf, this one right here, where we had been speaking until now.

song for eric

i wait all day for my sailor and sometimes he comes

see you over hill and dale
riding on the wind i see
you know me, you know me like the nightingale
"oh fair maiden, i see you standing there"
will you hold me for just a fair time
the tune is playing in the fair night
i see you in my dreams
fair boy your eyes haunt me...

by tori

I should stop staying up so late. I should stop being so superficial. I should apparently stop mentioning anything about bands I like on MY OWN SITE. I should start drawing again. I should start caring more. I should stop being lazy. I should be more creative. I should walk more and be driven less. I should be a more kind person. I should clean my bathroom. I should speak in clearer terms. I should allow myself to fall from time to time. I should stop side-stepping my own conscience. I should become more aware of my surroundings. I should pay more attention to the feelings of those around me. I should be more responsible. I should accept good will in all it's forms. I should cleanse my head of insecurities. I should reach out. I should be a leader. I should ....sleep

my dream girl don't exist

May I tell you the greatness of this song? Neutral Milk have a way of making suicide and horrible gloomy things seem so... happy? Maybe not happy but something like it.

my dream girl don't exist. and at the age of five she slit her wrists. she didn't know that I'd be hanging around. so her parents buried her in the ground. to this day I can still hear the sound of her laugh in outer space.

I really should be going to sleep. It's almost five am but I think the caffeine's done something to me. but now I've killed the music, which always kills my energy.

Alright. I'm going to sleep now. I'll post again tomorrow.
g'night.

glass 

embers
I finished reading Funny Boy last night, I would recommend it to anyone who likes to read, especially those who like more personal stories. I had never really sampled any books with the middle east (as in sri lanka if that really counts), and it was interesting how similar it seemed.

I just got back from the funeral for Jonathan. I was surprised at myself, I wasn't expecting to cry. I was never really good friends with him, but I do have a few memories. He was a really great kid, seemingly always smiling, really funny even if it wasn't on purpose, and it was very clear how many people he touched.

During the service at the actual cemetery, I was looking at Debbie, Jonathan's mother, and seeing the pain on her face and I started to cry. But suddenly, I think we both noticed it at the same time, one of those, you know those little fluff balls that you catch in your hands, well the kind that you can't catch and hold in your hands, you have to let them come to you and sometimes they'll let you hold them but they always seem to slip away before you're ready to let them go... one of those flew up from nowhere right over the coffin and Debbie stopped crying for a moment and so did I, and she started blowing at it, then closed her eyes. I watched it fly over the crowd and off, way way up into the sky.

I'd like to think that it meant something.

See you later Jono.

drivenwith sycamores

There was a way about the smell of the trees that evening. They hummed and buzzed like the memories of a million insects all exploding like fireworks in the autumn night. I could tell that something was sitting, just in the light, right on the tip of my tongue begging and coaxing to be let out. But I'm a little afraid to let that melody roam you know...

Goodbye Charlotte

I was coming home from the diner today
And I stopped to look at the clouds
They were all silver horses
On their way to the ocean

The way they flew over the fields
Shadows coming and passing
I will admit
They scared me just a bit

And now I’m watching every little fear sink into the black
And I thought I’d tell you
Goodbye Charlotte

In those days I was a little naïve
Always thought that we were chasing the sun
Never realized we were just running in circles
Even while our laughter echoed

I took every penny that I had
Took them straight to the sea
Felt my toes in the wet sand
Felt myself for the first time in years

And now I’m standing in the surf feeling the wet wind in my hair
And I thought I’d tell you
Goodbye Charlotte

I went dancing in a hall at the harbour
I went for a walk in the moonlight
I went picking up seashells on the shore
But I could swear they were pieces of my life


And now I’m driving to North Carolina with the windows rolled down
And I thought I’d tell you
Goodbye Charlotte

I finally got my wings

by me.

I have unplugged myself. I am becoming aware of my own scent.

and we are just about to explode

Liam in Ragged Falls 

spider webs dripping with dew 

Liam circa the days of the broken road 

insane reflections 

swimming down waterfalls
They may hurt a bit, but in the long run, they're good for the soul. Stevey, Megan and myself decided to see how well they work as water slides on Saturday. It turns out that they work okay, only you may be in for a few more cuts and bruises than you might get at your average water park. But it was fun. It was a really nice few days. The weather was, as is typical of Algonquin, very changeable. I got some very nice photos, I just regret that I didn't get any of the actual sliding down the waterfall. Later on that night I saw the most amazing shooting star I have ever seen, with all of the milky way and the forests of the north as a backdrop. Incredible. I wish my camera could pick up stars.

there is no such thing as coinicidence 

Created from Everything
current book: Funny Boy
current song: Bells for Her
probable theme of tomorrow: A Sorta Fairytale

You have to love everything sometimes. It's when the sleeplessness falls into ripples and suddenly you're melting in reality. It feels warm.

Today I had another song blow in the window and hit me in the brain. Hence my MSN name of the day: Rose Song. I haven't written any since Goodbye Charlotte. I was probably afraid of whatever I wrote sucking big time in comparison. There are times when you know that it's not your own creativity, that there is an actual story, a memory out of some time-spun fabric of being, that presents itself to you and lets you have it. It's when it spreads across your senses and you can hear it and feel it and smell it all at the same time.

I'm leaving for the cottage tomorrow. It should be wonderful. I really love being able to escape and find a corner of earth with a lake and trees. There's something that speaks to me in water. Plus I'm bringing my cd player. music + algonquin + friends = unbeatable combination. Provided I am not attacked and mauled by a bear.
and through the life force and there goes her friend on her nishiki it's out of timeand through the portal they can make amends

I remember my time at that cottage as being extremely creativeley stimulating. Which would be good. I'm bringing my camera.