All my blue skies are ripped at the seams

There are three new planets. Xena, Charon & Ceres. The universe really can change overnight.

...when I wake up a second time in his arms gorgeousnesshesstillinsideme

I'm supposed to be sleeping, I should be sleeping. But I slept too much last night, and my brain moves too fast and plays too many tricks on me to let me fall asleep when I need to. And she's telling me that if I just lean into the crack it will tremble softly but... I feel more like I'm falling through if anything and if it's not meant to be a strife or a struggle then how come it is? And don't feed me that shit about trying too hard and surrendering because we all know that's way too scary to even dip your toes in let alone dive blindfolded. But it's just one of those moments, y'know? When every atom in my legs, every molecule on my armhair is screaming and crackling alive for just the slightest breeze to shift the silt. But all there is is the most vast, the barest field with the darkest clouds and not one drop of relief.

And why can't it just be ideal? Would that really be such a problem?

The best, my favourite part about it all, is that after five hours of sleep my brain will have flushed these chemicals out of my system and I can continue like it was all some embarassing drunken night.