Fitting

There you
There you go again
Breaking
Breaking porcelain
Is that all I am
just a Doll you got used to
We’ve done
We’ve done this before
as Mars sauntered through his door
Don’t say it’s time to say
Goodbye to Pisces
Goodbye to Pisces

I am sitting sipping a cup of tea at my dad's, eating spoonfuls of fruit salad. Lately I've been craving damper climates, something like Scotland or New Zealand. I've actually been feeling like I have an ancestry lately. I don't even know if that's a word. It hadn't happened until near the end of high school, but I began to acquire a sort of pride in the fact that I'm a descendant of the Celts. Before I had always just sort of felt mismatched.

I've also felt like writing letters to everyone who bothers me lately... the phrase 'dear you' has been on repeat, re-circulating through my mind constantly. I guess I'm extra testy... too much winter perhaps? Never too much 'winter', or winter's 'horses', but too much grey/gray. Out of everyone who reads this, probably only one person will get that reference. And to that person I say this: that keeper of comb is finally growing on me, I enjoy sleeping with the butterflies.

A lot of the time it's the symbols that get me... well, probably everyone knows that about me already. In my head everything reduces to symbols. I think there's a lot of power in symbols. In the same way there's power in God and the devil, all because people take them as a symbol and attach them to an idea. It gives them power. It's the same with simple things too, like a light switch. A light switch is actually just a piece of plastic, but to people it becomes something that creates light. And in that instant, where the plastic becomes something that creates light, it is empowered and becomes something completely different. Language is also a lot like that.

I really want to learn Korean now, it seems much easier than japanese. It sounds slightly less harsh as well. Less timid. It's quite pretty.

Don't be afraid of death, it's a waste of time. Here's some knowledge for you: "And I began to understand that this case is a distraction sometimes and it tricks us because it can start making us believe that we are old of sprit, not just that the violin case is beat up, but you can begin to believe that the violin has no music to play anymore and that is where you have to go to the tree of knowledge and I tasted my mothers wisdom looking in that mirror." It's from the beekeeper.

Farewell and goodnight.

faded

I have been thinking a lot over the passed (past?) few days, about lots of different things. Some of the things: (I always think about these things, so if you know me well you probably don't even have to read this line) 'god', existence, androgyny, sexuality ... and I didn't get depressed! It was lunacy. I think I am now capable of 'deep' thought without the side-effects!

And now I don't want to talk about that.

So, I saw the movie Constantine the other day. It wasn't actually that bad. It was one of those rare movies that was good in spite of Keanu.