the light on

Notice: I learned how to make banners. I didn't even get Dan to teach me. (in the music, etc. section... I wish the other sites had banners, I'll just have to make my own like the bjork one I made) Now I want to put that picture of my eye and the window at the top of the page, but I don't know how to do that.

Thanks again for your letter Melissa. And thanks for giving me that web address. I'll link it if you want me to.

There isn't too much else, except that I've been up too late a few nights in a row. Universities e-mailed me, which is kind of re-assuring. Everyone loves my new jacket, including me. I have an ISU due monday as well as a unit test. My biology mark is abysmal, I hope that it's the class that's dropped out of consideration for university admission.

Hello everyone.

Real
I am being pushed around by other people's ideas.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm treading water or just bobbing along.
I am having trouble separating my thoughts from what's 'real'.
I am sitting alone in a basement again.
Some days it all wells up and crushes me.
I fear I have been disconnected.

Things like this just shoot through my head late at night after everyone else is asleep. I don't like using sleep as a medication, but I guess it makes sense that biological functions can impact thoughts. But I don't like that. It makes me feel like a machine.

I could rant forever but I don't think it would make a difference.
I wish my computer was fixed.