Real
I am being pushed around by other people's ideas.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm treading water or just bobbing along.
I am having trouble separating my thoughts from what's 'real'.
I am sitting alone in a basement again.
Some days it all wells up and crushes me.
I fear I have been disconnected.

Things like this just shoot through my head late at night after everyone else is asleep. I don't like using sleep as a medication, but I guess it makes sense that biological functions can impact thoughts. But I don't like that. It makes me feel like a machine.

I could rant forever but I don't think it would make a difference.
I wish my computer was fixed.