You are YOU! You have a confusing name. You are
really, really pretty. You're multi-talented
and lots of women would probably throw their
panties at you, but of course, you don't let it
ruin your grace.


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Could it be? An .......update!? *gasp*
Let's see.... What have I been up to? Trying to remember all of it makes my head hurt. So: Stress, Work, Sickness, Health, Music, Art, Friends, Parties, Talking, Meeting, Eating, Not Eating, Breathing, Sleeping, Work
Hmm... I suddenly don't feel like doing this anymore. So, I'll probably stop now and perhaps finish this later.

Update...... on the update
Okay, so I'm at my aunt's house in a perpetual state of pain, since someone has crawled down my throat and scratched their 3 inch long nails all the way down, attempting to blog. So, here's the overall on that flight scheduelling for those who have not heard: On the 20th(I think) my grandfather called to say that a flight had become available. Of course, I had been trying to go on his air miles, but you have to book it six months in advance and it had already been six months and it was no longer available. So I was sitting there thinking that I was going to have to pay my flight and the program fees entirely out of pocket (which would have been nigh impossible). However, this flight for Jan.19th came up and so I had to take it without consulting with my exchange manager. So, hopefully my exchange can either start that day or earlier, or else I'll just have to stay with someone until then. I still haven't received the application form yet, so hopefully that'll come soon and I also have to get my passport. But, it should be fun.

Minor Update
This is gonna be really short, but I've got my flight info. for Japan. I will be leaving at 10 AM on January 19th and arriving at (Japan time) 5 PM on January 20th (I think). Totalling 19 hours in the air. I'll be coming back on June 26th. That's all folks, talk to you later.

Half days off are decidedly good for the soul, polls suggest
Well, by polls I of course mean Hayley, Megan and I. We went gallabanting off into a valley, through the woods and into a river today.

Initially I felt guilty about skipping third and fourth periods, but that wore off rather fast. As in, as soon as we departed Megan's house for the walk. In all reality, it was far too beautiful a day to spend indoors. And I don't think I would have gotten anything relevant accomplished at school anyway, as I seem to be completely unable to do work while trapped within the walls. First, we paraded up Altona and across Taunton (after sampling the pears on a wild pear tree) until we came to a bridge. Oh, and I forgot, I, in a particularly courageous mood, up-rooted some developer-made political signs on the way. Anyway, we walked along this big, gourgeous, ravine-like river valley on this path. We came upon a pair of praying manti, one of whom was eating an ant. Eventually, we worked our way down to the river, which is where the real day began.

I really love being able to just peel my socks and shoes off and go walking in rivers. It seems like nature is always just a "look but do not touch" kind of a thing. Gooshing clay-mud between my feet felt so nice. Hayley and Megan also removed their shoes and we began to (slowly) make our way down the river towards the cliff we had just been looking down from. We stopped to look at almost everything, from rocks to fish to snake skin to leaves. I showed my fellow explorers my method of making little waterfalls out of flat rocks, which is actually quite fulfilling as simple as it sounds. And somehow Hayley managed to go from examining a leaf face-down on all fours on dry land to being on her back in the river. My, she has a talent for accidents. After a while, we got to this part where there was a bit of a path coming up out of the river again and Hayley and Megan took the dryland part while I continued down the river. I saw these really cool sheer clay cliffs that were dripping water from underground springs, and cut myself rather nastily on an evil blade of grass. We met up again and decided the fastest way up was straight up the side of the cliff. Hayley almost fell again, but it was fun.

By this time I had begun feeling guilty again, so we had to rush back so that I could make good my excuse about feeling ill and going to Megan's. At the time, my mother seemed fine with it so we continued our day. After a short meal of chick peas, rice and couscous, it was time for my bike-riding lesson.

Yes, it's a sad truth, but I don't know how to ride a bike.

All in all, it was a very profittable experience.

Now I am quite tired and will elaborate further when I'm feeling more competent.
Good night!

Birdcage
Don't you feel as if you're living in a birdcage?
You are not permitted to experience life firsthand.
Dwelling ever in your...
...Birdcage

That wasn't actually a poem, more a spur-of-the-moment thought wave. It does oftentimes feel like that though, doesn't it? It's unfortunate that we have such a rigid school system. It feels like a lot of the time we could just learn from actual life.
Real life.
The kind that isn't in textbooks.
I am reminded of philosophy class. For the first week at least, everything we discussed were things that I had already thought about at length and either answered or deemed irrelevant. Mostly those I had deemed irrelevant.
Why can't I just play life by the rules of reality? You can question reality until you die if you like, I'm not so sure there's any way to escape it short of death and mind-altering drugs. I'd much rather play by the rules and force the game to bend to my will.
Say Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
But in all honesty here folks, I am re-discovering my will. I'm sure if you're reading this you're probably already aware of the fact that I'm changing my mindset. Becoming more of an optomist. I'm pretty sure that's spelt wrong, but as I don't care we'll leave it be. It's really cool. I didn't realize that I have so much control, so much choice over how I feel. It really all does boil down to choice. You do have the choice. You do.

As for the poetry front: All of it is being comprised into one book. So if you would like to read any others, just ask me for the book/the rose book.

Oh, and thanks Ash for loaning me that book. I just hope it's not aaalll porn. lol. I'm sure it has content.
I leave you with this note:
Change

Hey! And I still remember how to use this thing!
Wow, have I ever been busy. It's been craziness in my world. Work, work, work and Chris and cottage = no time to do anything else. I think I must be the only person sort-of looking forward to the summer being over just so I can go and chill out with people again. It's heinous, but true. I do indeed like school more than work. Basically the only thing that I've been doing other than marvelling at all the time I've wasted slaving is writing poetry and songs as usual. I've got a whole bunch new ones fresh off the brain, but I think I'll only share maybe one today. The good thing is that I've even got a tune for this one. Hurrah! Oh- BTW- To those people whom I have not seen this summer: call me or hopefully I will call you because we have to get together so that I can feel like I have not wasted my summer. Plans are good people, plans are good. I've also decided to try and write as many people as I can letters for no good reason other than the fact that i want to. so, without further ado, I bring you the Parting

Twilight calls, caresses in it's touch
A distant clock chiming out the end has come
The smiles linger, the memory of better times
We're basking, bathin in the afterglow
And we knew it all along that it would never ever be the same

Wakeful walking backwards, palms turned out
The river has run it's full course
Love always clings on, even through defeat
But a blue rose has always meant goodbye
And now it's time to say goodbye

We met
we laughed
we held on fast
We sighed
we cried
we said goodbye

And we knew it all along that it would never ever be the same
And now it's time to say goodbye
And we knew it all along that it would never ever be the same
but we tried just the same
and we loved through the rain
and we struggled with the pain
but it could never be the same

So...
Just so you guys know, I've decided to start using this blog to share some of my poetry/lyrics/etc... that I've made up or think are especially beautiful. However, I will still be making regular posts here as well. Hmmm.... perhaps I'll make a special lyrics blog. Or maybe that would be too much of a hassle, who knows. It's around 1:30 AM at the moment, but I don't really feel like sleeping. Which probably is not a good idea, as I have to work tomorrow. But Oh well! Screw that! Special Preview just for you: Here's two bits of poems that I will probably never finish, as I have lost the mood and it occured a fairly long time ago. By the way, if you have poetry, share it! :-p
1. The clock is ticking 2.Oooh, they're so young
the bell has rung and oooh, they think they know
the day has come and oooh you middle-aged silt-suckers
the day has come
(Talk about angsty)
It's time to rise
none left to despise
they have all gone
they have all gone

Shelter (A Dream Gathers)
Once again by me

This is my holy place
This is my temple
Where I feel the rhythms
Where the water ripples and echoes
Where the feelings pulsate

Thoughts reflect in the water and take on form
Shades of blue, tints of grey, laced with silver
Feathers blow in the wind
A dream gathers and takes flight

*Spreading my wings out
Feeling the warmth of the sun
Soaring through the sky
Troubles chew the dust

The storm brews, folds and doubles
I hold it in the palm of my hand
Caressing the raw energy
The balance teeters and sways
*

Billowing mist collects along the ground
The floor cracks and falls from under me
Falling freedom follows after
Feels like love
*x2
This is my heart
This is my head
Where life seems clear
Where chaos is beautiful
Where dreams are born

Take the .Hack//SIGNTest

Sulky Girl
By: Me
I see you sulking,
breathing your sighs.
Feathers in your hair,
rollin' your eyes.

You'd rather be dancin'
out in the summer sun.
Wearin' your mom's old dress,
damn the sixties were fun.

*She's my summer sulky girl
My ecstatic trippy queen
The happiest I've ever been

You pretend that you don't
see the boys peekin' through the fence.
So caught up,
glowin' in your own essence.

Searchin' for lost treasures
hidden in boxes in the attic.
The dust caught you up,
the air was so static.

*

Your backyard afternoon sessions
Your winter-long depressions
The sun you made dance with the willows
the dandelions that blew in whirlwinds
... just for you

*
My summer sulky girl
Happiest I've ever been

The End of the Year
So, it's over. Time for the clearing of the closets. Some time to drop our emotional baggage and try to undo some of the damage that's piled up over an entire year. Boo, boo on that year I say. Bye bye grade 11, I can't think that I'll miss you. Of course, there will be people to miss. Jenny est disparue, mais hopefully I'll be seein her. Megan's leaving until August, with Hayley, Laura and Sara to join her shortly. Everyone's suffering from the void that school left behind. Trying to fill it seems like a daunting task. Still looking for a job, and finding nothing but discouragement. It's so amazing how emotions have such a profound impact on the way you view things. For example, this window has been open for around an hour while I puttered around and tried to figure out what to say. Now that I look back at what I have said already, I wonder where it came from. I can no longer connect with that moment, with that emotion, that mindset. And, on top of that, the impact that a few words, a person, a song can have on the emotions you view the world through. In a way, feelings are like stained glass windows; you still see reality, but it's in the colour of that emotion. It's fascinating. Trying to imagine things from different emotions is really interesting too. I'm always trying to look at things from different perspectives, it's one of my hobbies, so I find it amusing anyway. I really need a camera, I find that I'm always looking for what would be the best angle for a photo, etc. Hmm... what will I do over the summer. Chris, you had better get your ass up here! I'll probably, work excluded, read (I'm hoping to discover a whole bunch of new writers and books this summer), STUDY JAPANESE (seeing as how I really did not retain anything from this year, bloody Endo), watch movies (searching out new animes, movies, etc.), SEE LOTS OF FRIENDS (I'm getting really tired of sitting around all summer, so I've decided to learn to ride my bloody bike), channel some creativity as opposed to sitting around and marvelling at the ideas that I get and not bother doing anything about them (this probably entails drawing and painting, perhaps designing some new manga/characters, writing a whole bunch since I won't be sick of writing from school, hopefully taking some photos), hopefully blog a lot more & hopefully have a lot of people reply on my blog. I think I might make up a list of everything I want to do with my life, or have wanted to do and start checking them off. Seems like a good idea to get what I want to do accomplished.

The End of the Year Approaches!!!
Yay! School is almost over. There's something like 10 days or so left, and I'm not sure if I've ever looked foreward to something this much (well.... maybe Japan). My average this semester is probably going to be the lowest I've ever gotten, but I'm not caring that much. Oh well, c'est la vie. I'm hoping it'll be in the upper seventies. *fingers crossed* I've got lots of hard work ahead though, lots of exams and isu's.

PS- Go here - http://www.livejournal.com/~eliaalariel
(This Liam is scarily like me...)

You're Tetsu!


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An Update? No Way!
Alright... I know it's been a long time, but here I am. Life is going pretty good lately. Birthdays, Anime Conventions, Japan Exchanges & music are all helping to brighten my existence. It's very uplifting to know that things sometimes do go right, and that good things, too, can happen randomly. I'm about 80% sure that I'm shooting off for the (land of the rising) sun for at least six months of grade 12, and it feels wonderful. Not that I want to leave everyone behind, but it is one of my dreams and it feels amazing to actually be doing it. Besides, I'll be back. ; ) So... What else is new... Oh, for those of you who don't know, Chance (megan and my miracle train victim survivee cat) is doing pretty good, though still blind. Pretty amazing things can happen, you know? I'm feeling better by the minute. Picked up a new-ish musical interest: Cocco, my japanese discovery. She's pretty great, even though I don't understand half the things she says. But sometimes words get in the way when you're trying to express things, so I mostly listen to the way she sings and the emotions she expresses, and put them together with the random phrases I understand. Anyway, that's me. How are you?

Lyrics and Prose
Hey guys! How are you today? That's good/bad/sad depending on your answer. I got this idea from a lyrics page(s) that Ashwini and I have been keeping in Biology class. Basically, everyday we add a few lyrics that we like to the sheet and read them, then share ideas on them etc... I want to hear some of your favourites, so post them in the comment boxes. I'll be adding some of my own a little later on. For starters "I've been walking through endless rain, like a poet feeling pain. Trying to find the answers, trying to hide the tears. But it was an endless circle..."

CRAZY
I'm pretty sure at this point that the universe is crumbling. I can't really concentrate on anything right now, and I seem to have lost all semblance of motivation/rational thought. All I really want to do lately is run away or write poetry. I feel really spontaneous. It's definately a big changing point in my life right now, and a few of the major bonds seem to be slipping away. I keep trying to fix them, but it doesn't seem to be working. I guess that's life. I'll probably just adapt, as always, but it sucks just the same. Wow, this really turned into a bitching rant.... that's unfortunate. So come, let's all wallow in self-pity! ;-)

Online "love"
Alright, this is a topic that has come up in conversations I've had in the past. Recently, one of my online buddies told me that he had fallen in love with a girl that he knows strictly from online and letters. I've always questioned the validity of such relationships, as the couple doesn't actually have to have any physical interaction with each other. Then there's also the truth factor. How can you even know that your "boy/girlfriend" isn't just a nasty old man with some sick habits? I want to hear what you think, so comment away!

Advertising is EVIL
I recently did a persuasive essay for english on the fact that advertising has become too extreme. I found out a whole lot of information that I didn't know before. Thank goodness for Adbusters, they're a real eye-opener. Anyway, I found out about this advertising research company in San Fransisco called "Bright House Institute for Thought". They are using MRI (brain) scans to find out how people's brains react to different commercials. Using this technology, it has become possible to leave subliminal messages on people to make them buy things without them even knowing they've been brainwashed. Pretty crazy stuff.

Friendship Alright folks, I'm pretty sure that everyone knows by now that I've been having some problems with this particular area lately. The question that I want to pose is: Is friendship forever? I'm not so sure... It seems to be a fickle thing. I think that perhaps, even though none of us want to admit it, when we go to University/College/after high school stuff, we may just scatter to the four courners of the earth. I think the forever part of friendship is the part that exists in our hearts and memories.

Hehe, this site really sucks right now. But now I've recruited the Technological God Dan to my team, and it'll start getting a lot better. I'll start updating a lot more often as well, and get some discussion going on. I'm also hoping for a custom design from Dan. Mwahahaha, he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.

Hey all, this is Liam. I decided to conform to this wave of online journal-ing too. Today's Nichole's birthday, so Happy Birthday Nichole!!!