Tuesday, August 23, 2005

once like me

I did almost nothing today. I didn't get out of bed until around 12... I didn't really feel like getting up. And when I did I didn't really do anything. Came upstairs, went online. Chatted for a while, downloaded pictures of hot actors male and female. I guess I did manage to get all of Feist's Monarch album. That alone makes the day worthwhile.

I spent a lot of time playing with bronwyn today too. I didn't even really think until today that my moving out will mean me missing out on a lot of her growing up again. I also hadn't considered the fact that I may never move back in. I think that that's exciting. Lately I've been wanting a place of my own more than anything else. I won't be getting that for a while I'm sure, but I guess this is like a step in that direction. I had another dream last night about waking up in a big bed with someone else there. For some reason I associate feelings like that - of companionship, surrender, love, interdependence, with the colour yellow. So all of my dreams that involve those themes are in yellow tones or somehow involve the colour yellow. I think it's the only colour association that I have.

Sometimes I wish there was a 'disarm' button on people... like a secret handshake or a password or something that would make everyone just drop all their walls and skip the shit. I know that's hard... people love their shit... but how awesome would it be if you could just cut through it altogether every now and then? Just two people... connecting without any of their hangups dangling in the rear-view mirror.

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