Gruff Rhys 

So I went to go see Bright Eyes last night, as a birthday present from Jackman, and to my surprise, Conor was SOBER. Or at least seemed sober. It was kind of a relief actually, and I think it might have had something to do with him dating Maria Taylor of Azure Ray fame. She was also the drummer for this particular show, another thing I was surprised at. I think her backing vocals added a lot to the overall performance. It was good, mostly. There were a few songs I was disappointed at, specifically Lover I don't have to Love, which didn't fit in with this setlist at all, and was half-mumbled in the MIDDLE of the show. But they also played I think 3 new songs, all of which sounded good, along with a few rarities like Well Whiskey and Laura Laurent.

I was pleasantly surprised by the opening act! Gruff Rhys, who usually plays as part of South Wales's Super Furry Animals took the stage and entertained us through a number of songs. His use of a loop pedal was hilarious, looping fake bird sounds, 'artificial bagpipes', drum beats and breathing noises. I have to get my hands on his album.

Sea Lion Woman::: Relletelat

Whoever invented Feist Live is a god/Goddess. Everyone should hear Sea Lion Woman and When I Was a Young Girl from Live at Park West. Because they are god.

Laugh to erase the dirt from your mind...

Today is kind of a grey day, but that's ok because I have enough happy saved up to block the rays. Yesterday and the day before that I was really sick, but only at night for some reason. It was like around 8 PM I just got this really high fever and became incapable of movement. So Dave cooked for me and fed me drugs in bed. It was very sweet. I slept from about 9:30 PM to 9:30 AM and woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the... bleak dank & damp day. I showered and shaved and all that good stuff and then went down to osgoode station to pick up tickets for X3 tonight at the paramount. I really hope it'll be good as X-Men represents a very large portion of my childhood playing. And then walking back to the station I ran into my co-worker MJ who is crazily sweet and so cute walking with two of her friends, so she asked me to ride the subway with them which I did, and a good time was had by all.

I thought any number of horrid things whilst strutting Queen West. It made me grateful that no-one (at least no-one who tells me about it) can hear my thoughts. Also it re-affirmed my stern belief that I am a horrible person.

All the blonde is gone from my hair, so now it's mostly dark again. Which is a relief.

Yesterday I went to this amazing japanese place on King called Hiro's Sushi. It is SO good! But disclaimer: not for those light of changepurse. It's like... a real restaurant. (By this I mean there is a menu that changes everyday and the dishes are actually innovative) And Hiro was actually there, which I've heard makes the food a lot better. I had this cool little Asparagus Tofu creation along with six pieces of Ume Maki and the BEST vegetable tempura I have ever had. The ambience was amazing, straight down to the homemade tea cups with 'hiro sushi' glazed onto them. But it was quite the kick in the wallet. But then the shocked reaction I got when I thanked them and said see ya later in japanese made it almost worth it. Definitely a great place to go for an every now and then type meal. Not some place you could go once a week like Konnichiwa.

Movies I have seen lately:
Transamerica (v.good)
DaVinci Code (v.not)
Howl's Moving Castle(Haoru no Ugoku Shiro) (good - ok)
Nana (hmm. ok)
Ima, Ai ni Yukimasu (good)

Music I have been ipod'ing lately:
Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Show Your Bones / Fever to Tell
Metric - Live it Out / Old World Underground
Feist - Live at Park West / Open Season
L'Arc~en~Ciel - AWAKE
Cocco - Whatever random stuff I can find
Chrono Cross OST

The new Starbucks is pretty good! Still fairly stressful, I hate closing there because there is so much to do and it is impossible to get out on time. Opening is also kinda a pain in the ass because the pastry stack is actually taller than I am. Everything is done very by-the-book, but I'm confident that I'll eventually adjust to the pace and get motoring.

..............I know I know you tried to change things, I know I know you tried to change, I know , I know.

I haven't posted in like a month. That is madness.

Uhh I don't have too too much to say. School is out. Thank GOD! I've started at my new store, and it is BUSY. At least ... three times? as busy as Pickering was. Everyone seems to be good too. I'm spending a lot of time in there though, I need to get out and see some people. Getting my hair cut tomorrow, and I hope it'll be a sunny day so I can wander around.

Anyway, that's all for now. Ciao bellas.

Fever to Tell!

You make me wanna whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Edit:

Remember Head in the Clouds, Door in the Floor, and He Died with a Felafel in His Hands.

wildly

I went to the final fantasy concert on sunday night. It was really good, as usual, this time he was solo. Which, naturally, didn't stop him from beautifully rendering a bunch of songs off of 'he poos clouds'. Also the CD was for sale there... and as far as I know it's not coming out until May 16th, so it was cool to get that. And I met Owen Pallett again in a really random sequence of events. Basically this person filming one of his performances was leaning on me and turned to me to say hello. I was glaring at them but I said hello back anyway. Anyway, long story short this person brought me 'backstage' after the concert and I got my cd signed this time. I'm kinda worried he's gonna end up thinking I'm a creepy stalker kid or something.

Boys will be boys

Well, I wasn't going to share this story, but I think it's funny enough to post.

Dave: 'It's so nice out, I wanna go for a walk.'

Liam: 'Where?'

Dave: 'Just down church I guess, go pick up some beer.'

Liam: 'Hmmm....'

****several minutes later, on church st.****

Liam: 'I don't really like church st.'

Dave: 'Why not?

*** Some guy in a car beside me whistles ***

Random guy in car: 'Hi gorgeous!'

Liam: 'That's why.'

smoulder 

Love the picture but don't love the movie 

scarlett 

Kings and Queens

Kings and Queens is a really good song. You should download it. Right now.

This week I've been feeling kind of nostalgic, even unto missing high school which is one thing I swore I'd never do. Going home doesn't totally feel like going home anymore. Everytime Bronwyn is bigger and has brand new vocabulary and habits and Caitlin is becoming a teenager and my mom is moving on with her life (sort of). But in the same vein, they still can't turn the TV on or off without my help. Hahaha.

Currently listening to: Snowman by Cherry Filter. And now Cooling, good old cooling. She tucks me in at night every time.

'And I know I have been driven, like the snow. But this is cooling faster than I can, this is cooling, faster than I-'

I'm in one of those moods where I'm missing people I've never met before, and missing meeting them. And just sitting here I'm missing all of it. It's one of those transition phases that I always cope so well with. I think summer will be a breath of fresh air though. Maybe I need a girl.

And now for some Northern Lad. I am a Northern Lad.

And if you could see me now...

Pebbles, stones pulled from the sea
From the sea and into me
Upturned palms for all to see
And into the sky it shot from me

Her mouth, her coarse lips expel the stones onto the bed of the ocean and the algae extends from the floor to my legs. Her throat is a trench, a gorge in the ocean floor around which the light bends and shadows swell. I don't know how I've got here. The saturation of this place in colours and sound, I can feel the slime, the slippery wetness of the algae that clings to my leg. I feel as if I've just woken up. I've been somewhere sleeping for so long. There's a pulse, at first just a current, then building. The light is erupting, flashpan blizzards of specks and lightning. The water is different and warm and cold flows course around my body in turns while the humming begins to thunder. I am freed by the storm at sea, in sea, but now drifting in the current. My limbs are cast about, tumbling in a kind of wind. All of the green and blue and purple mix with the light and the shadows, chaos rent in water. My hand tingles, and I can feel the skin parting at my palm. It feels natural, no pain, stones are ejecting in a line from my right hand. They twist and fall in a ribbon, twirling around me, looping around my leg until I notice that my leg is not a leg at all but in fact a fin, a tail. I kick against the current and the breath of the woman who is the ocean floor, and I notice for the first time a hazy light from overhead. It's so alien, and cold and distant drifting luminous vexing but I am drawn to it and my hand is gripping, grasping begging for an exit a memento a tiny piece of this beauty. The string has been creeping toward the light, almost almost there now. The mouth in the sea calls to me, demanding I return to my place of slumber but now I've seen the light and I can't sleep again. My mouth waters as the pebbles pierce the canopy of water, like a needle in the eye of the woman in the dark. She howls, but I can scarcely hear her through the pulse in my ears while the stones stretch further on the other side of the water wall. The woman is inhaling, is desperately deigning to draw me in. I am starting to be raised, to rise to the surface. I have latched myself onto the source of this light, and I am being pulled through the currents, through the hissing and the storm of green. I can feel the light on me now, and as the crown of my head breaks the surface and the last droplets of the womb I have slept in for so long drip from my hair and off my body I see the shape of this light. And in that instant I think, who has hooked who?

A bad movie combination:

The Sweet Hereafter

+

Boys on the Side

Let no hand hold you down?

Ugh. I am glad that last week is over. Unfortunately my body has decided to rebel in retaliation for the partying, slapping me with four zits all at once and preventing me from doing more than 20 minutes at the gym today. Pathetic.

Uh oh. Possibly dad is coming to watch some maple leafs on the couch... evacuate! evacuate!

Too late... Did I mention that I hate sportscasters?

josephine and ginger root
I've been thinking that I've been thinking too much lately. Negativity is beginning to cluster at the edges of the page again and it's blocking my view of the words. There's a lot of shit going down, so put it lightly, and I don't like it. I'd appreciate it if the world smoothed it's wrinkles for a few.

In hindsight:
the air was mild
the tequila was warming
the way the wires crossed overhead gave it a landscape

Kibou

That last rant was so poorly composed... I apologize. That happens when I try to force posts, it just ends up like that: random, inconsistent, and hard to understand. So tonight's rant will be replaced with a ramble.

Work today was alright, there were a few awkward customers though. For starters Howard came in, and did the usual re-arranging of the furniture, cleaning of various areas of the store,and bizarre indecipherable rambling to god or Jesus or whoever. And to make that more awkward, this guy walked up to me today and asked me about him. I was explaining that he was harmless, not to worry about him, he's just 'talking to god', and the guy was like 'oh good, so he's found Jesus then? Even the unfortunate need his salvation don't they.' And there are people standing behind him in line. And I'm like... uhh.... What am I supposed to be saying here? And then he said 'It's times like these where I wish I had his healing powers, you know? Wouldn't it be great to be able to heal with faith?' (At this point he stretches out his hands around my head, 'healing' me I suppose). And the people behind him in line are looking back and forth from him to me. My response? A quick 'what can I get for you?' to the person behind him. Good shift though, good people to work with.

This room is unbelieveably cold. Even my bizarre excess body heat isn't enough to keep me from feeling it. I wonder how my sister, the one allergic to the cold, manages to live in it.

I wrote out a list of all the kanji I don't remember well from this textbook so far... and it had around 250 characters in it. And I actually think that's not bad considering how many we've learned. But obviously I have some hardcore reviewing to do.

Tonight your ghost will ask my ghost
'where is the love?'

Castle on a Cloud

There is a castle on a cloud
I like to go there in my sleep
aren't any floors for me to sweep
not on my castle on a cloud

Ok, so Final Fantasy covered that song... well, I suppose attempted to cover is more like it. He switched all the lines around so that it didn't rhyme anymore and I laughed throughout the entire performance. It was falsetto. Very nice.





What is it that makes people so desperate to be unique? I see it in myself as well, that drive to be different, to be recognized, to be seen as separate from the crowd. But where does that come from? I suppose it's deep-seated in insecurity, maybe a lack of self-esteem. I think it's kind of a sickness. It would be a lot simpler if people just let themselves be who they are, completely without regard to how others might perceive them.

By the same token though, that could produce a lot of serial killers. So I guess there isn't really an easy solution. It's just depressing to see people mostly online going on and on about how atypical they are, and how people might think they're this or that, but really they aren't.

It's the same with falling in love, people are desperate to find the one who sees them for the real them. Because we all have different desires. When really I wonder if half these people are actually looking for love, or just looking for ratification of their innate 'differentness'.

Rein

I got a random call from the ex tonight, asking me out to dinner. Being the mental case that I am, I agreed to go. Everything seemed fine, until again with the same questions, the same behaviour patterns repeating themselves. I wanted to ask him, how many more times will you make me crucify you? How many until you are satisfied? What do you want from me? A t-shirt? 'I survived him'. Or is it that you're desperate to make this bigger than it is, to have a story you can tell later in life? Whatever it is, I'm sick of it. So cut it the fuck out.

"And I said, 'I pray you, show me which is the tree which caused Adam to stray.'
And the angel said, 'It is the vine which the angel Samael planted by which the Lord God became angered, and he cursed him and his planting. For this reason he did not permit Adam to touch it. And because of this the devil became envious, and tricked him by means of his vine.'" - 3 Baruch 4:8 (Greek)
"And during the transgression of the first Adam, she gave light to Samael when he took the serpent as a garment, and did not hide, but on the contrary, waxed." - 3 Baruch 9:7 (Greek)

I've always found religions fascinating... well more that religion, myth I suppose is my real interest. I don't so much find practice interesting, as the places where man and his surroundings intersect.

my dragonfly