goodbye japan 

cherry blossom viewing picnic (hanami)

This was on one of the many days that I went to meet Motonari at Hokkaido University. Taken on May 12th, just when the sakura or cherry trees were blooming. In Japan when the cherry trees are blooming everyone goes out to have picnics and barbecues and look at them. One thing of note is that Hokkaido is renowned in Japan for it's incredibly late bloom times.

miko and natalia

Yeah. It looks blurry because it is blurry. This is a picture of one of the miko of Hokkaido Jingu, the main Shinto shrine of Hokkaido. For those of you who don't know, the mikos work as shrine maidens and supposedly have to be virgins to qualify for the job. The girl on the right is one of the exchange students from my school, visiting from Chile.

view from the house

Just to give you an idea of exactly how close the mountains were (from my second host family). I really, really do miss them. It's some kind of weird psychological thing.

shinrin koen
I really did love that forest. It was completely silent, and while I was there snow was always falling in a thick, secret kind of way, like feathers falling from the sky. But it was the kind of emptiness that felt so full. The air was strangely charged. Very alive.

lavender fields

So I figured out how to add the photos... or rather I downloaded that "hello" thing. So now I can add photos. So this is a photo of the lavender fields that I went to just before I left. I already sent a different picture to everybody that knows this address... well, maybe not everyone, but most of them, so there may not be much point. But oh well.

Anyway, in other news. I'm back in town. I was planning on going through and trying to individually surprise everyone but... yeah. I can't really think of ways to nor do I have the energy/attention span/motivation to. I might be having a welcome back party at some point. But we'll see. I really do want to see everyone again.

Today it's kind of humid. When the weather is such that I stick to chairs and other pieces of furniture, I tend to wish for one of two things: death or a lake to swim in.

CDs I'm craving lately: Mizerable (I can't believe I left it in Japan), Scarlet's Walk, Without You I'm Nothing

there is a blue which speaks to me of divine things

It just started raining, and I'm in love.
With the rain that is.

The second part of that post, only changed to fit now.

A few minutes ago, this girl that I've been talking to lately and her friend came running down the hall at me. "WAIT a minute" they said. I waited.

"Ichi, ni, san, JE T'AIME!!!"

And then they ran.

Hahaha, I love these kids.

I was just reminded that the reason why I haven't been updating my blog like a maniac is not because I don't have anything to talk about, I just thought that I didn't.

So now I will talk about the two themes suggested to me; electronic toilets and being attacked by gaijin-loving japanese girls.

So I'll start with the toilets, because, well, I don't know why. They're quite interesting. Many of them have heated seats, which is quite nice compared to the sometimes cold seats one... encounters on frigid winter mornings in Canada. A lot of them have sort of... soft seats. But one of the weird things is that they also have all these crazy controls on the side. And what are they for you ask? Well... for washing things. But the funny thing is that the water is always heated, and you can control the jet's location, power, motion, everything. It's so foreign.

Hey readers,

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I actually forgot that I had a blog. Hehe. Anyway, here's something that I wrote the other day, just kind of having a dialogue with myself. It may be interesting. But who knows. See ya! SOON


I am writing with the purpose of finding an idea. I am not yet sure as to which idea it is, but this is typical and to be expected as it is an idea that I have never before known. In this particular instance I am writing without the crutch of music to massage and grope my creative mind (I was going to say the instrument of my creation, then realized the phallic undertones of such phrase and changed my mind).

Yesterday an idea came into my head and out of my mouth, which I immediately accepted to be my own. My roommate Tokio said to me that he has two girlfriends. My mouth twisted in disgust. My mind immediately told me that it was wrong, and that this Tokio was less than I had thought him to be. I accepted this idea to be my own, and judged him next to the set of morals that I had labeled as my own.

Today, however, I realized that this set of morals was not my own. This idea of having more than one female “love” interests being wrong was not one of my original thoughts. It was one that society had projected into my brain and that I had accepted to be true. From this point I had come to forget that this was an idea that had been introduced into my head, and it merged into the set of ideas, values and rules that have come to define something of what I am.

It makes me begin to wonder how far this veritable brain-washing extends. What percentage of my kangae-kata is truly my own and what percentage was drafted and grown like the shoot of a plant?

The Dark Side
***************************************************************************************
The Light Side

I am writing because I have found an idea. However, what interests me about this idea is that it was an original idea. It is one that I know came from me. But what interests me is that it is an idea I know that someone else has also created in the past.

The idea was very similar to that of Plato’s cave. I concluded after an hour-long thinking period that people were only the product of light shone through moving water. This was originally in my head only applied to physical features, but around 5 minutes after the first conclusion I extended this idea onto morals and personality. All of it was only a collection of light that had been shone onto something else, and the light itself was the actual essence of the person or thing.

Moments later I noticed the nostalgia of this idea, well, not nostalgia, but my subconscious mind was notifying my conscious mind of the existence of a very similar idea in my memory banks. After a few moments of picking through the finer mental images I found Plato’s Cave to be the idea that my subconscious mind was trying to notify me of. I smiled and said something like “no way” out loud. I had realized this idea without any reliance on anyone else’s ideas, and had by sheer coincidence come to the same conclusion that a very famous philosopher came to a long time ago.

Shaken, and stirred

As in earthquakes and lemon tea (or Raymone Tee as the japanese say). Colds are not fun, especially in foreign countries.

I Lost My Bracelet!

I did. And it makes me sad.
dare ga fusagareta kono hitomi no oku ni fureru no darou
yureru kagerou no naka de mitsumeteita tsuki ga warau

I think god is trying to make me steal. He keeps stealing things from me, and then making everything expensive. But Karma's a bitch, and I don't want it to bite me in the ass.

I have come up with a way to send pictures, and feel like the biggest dumbass on earth that I didn't think of it earlier. I just bought a floppy disk, and save them off my laptop, then bring them to school. So over the next few days/weeks, expect pictures.

So here you must vote on what I send first. The choices are:

1.Temple Pictures
2.Shrine Pictures
3.Kimono Pictures (including some bad pictures of me in a yutaka)
4.Debbie and My fieldtrip to Sapporo Old City Hall (including some nice shots of the peach? blossoms)
5.Hokkaido Shrine fieldtrip pictures
6.Sakura Pictures (not that good)
7.Cape Kamui pictures
8.Various japanese "cultural" pictures (including a male Yamamba HAHAHA!)

My Joy Will Be Complete

Anthony it could be worse Lord Anthony it could be worse Anthony it could be worse

Phew, almost lost myself there for a bit, then re-awoke to the light of Belle and Sebastian. And yeah, it could be worse. It is really hard to deny the christian undertones though, especially in "If you Find Yourself Caught in Love". Prayers to the man above, etc. A bit concerning, but if caught in love is the most preaching they'll ever do then I am content.

I keep hearing about a gay marriage in Massachusetts, and it's getting kind of old.

Speaking of getting old, it's my birthday this Saturday. 18. I guess that's supposed to be a big number, but it doesn't seem very intimidating from this close.

I am currently quite displeased with my hair and overall physical appearance, but I don't think I can do very much about it right now. Am also currently quite hungry.

Let's see if we can't think of something thought-provoking. Nope.

1.My Joy Will Be Complete
2.You know I'm not dead
3.With raven hands

I was bored in computers class, so I went quiz hunting. Here are the results.

Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, What Kind of Name Should You Have?, is You?e a dreamer - James, Caitlin, Mortimer or Lucy

Li>My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Which Insects do You Indentify with? (what bugs are on your tiny totem?), is dragonfly

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Centaur:
Centaurs are calm down to earth beings who love the
planet. You like to help people and volunteer
to do many things other wont. You dont care
about credit, however, and feel a good deed is
its own reward.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


your fuck.


What swear word are you?
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You should be dating a Leo.
23 July - 22 August
This mate is honest and loyal, with a sunny
disposition. Though this lion has the tendency
to be arrogant, sulky or smug, he/she is
unrestrained in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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You'd bite their neck and drain their blood! Why?
Because you're a vampire like me! Whats that?
You're not a vampire? Well here's your chance.




How would you Murder?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Second
Today I found an online journal. It was pretty nostalgic, mostly in the sad ways. Don't you hate it when things come up tragic. I think... yes. I just might.

Blogs are scary, scary things.

Why is it that no matter how far apart you feel, you're always still in reach?
It's almost unfair.

Melancholy
Melancholy
Melancholy

I can never be interesting because I am still so full of I.

My Hands are small
But they're not yours, they are my own.

So originally I was going to make one post everyday all school week detailing my boring emotions and detached feelings to all the blogging world, but then I lost the motivation *shocker*. So now I'm just going to ramble.

I watched the Last Samurai in Japanese yesterday, and it was actually quite interesting. Although if I was in Canada I'm sure I would have given a bad review, because I'm in Japan it seemed more interesting. But, by the end of the movie, I was suffering from a completely contradictory hate/love for the Japanese. Hey! They have a word for that! It's ???or aizo. They actually seem to have lots of weird little opposite kanji-pairings. Hmm... Interesting.

Anyway, it all had to do with the Meiji Era. During this time, Japan went through extreme changes in a very short period of time. The Emperor, or rather the Emperor's council, decided that in order for Japan to remain a strong nation, it would have to assimilate and perfect Western Culture, which of course led to the deaths of so many unique cultural practices. That was not really what bothered me, however. What bothered me was that they half-knew what they were doing, and proceeded with it anyway. They killed their own culture and then had the gauze to mourn for it.

I don't think it's really possible to live here and not both hate and love the japanese though. It seems like it's just a thing.

Everytime I make a bank withdrawal here, it charges $5 ! from my bank account! Can you believe that!? arg. Oh well.

I wish that I had something to say. But whenever I have something to say, I always sit and say nothing. Like a good little boy.

Japan Moods

Yet another of the things I've noticed since I've arrived here is that I go through fairly intense moods much more often than I did in Canada. I a lot this once more to the effects of being away from friends, who tend to act as sort of mood-balancers. It's really interesting how communication affects people.

Posting: Create
What exactly does that mean? Create? Am I really creating? I would say that I'm relaying if anything.

But, in any case, I think today I shall rant, due to inspiration from Megan. Only I can't think of a topic on which to rant, so I will fall back on my old faithful ramble. I really wish that I could come off sounding more intellectual on these things. The problem is that my brain constantly rips through thoughts as they come into existence in my head, before I've had the opportunity to record any of them on... blogper.

So I'll start with a thought that's been hanging around my skull since the weekend. I just realized that when I return, I will never have another class with the "Gifties" again. I will never see the familiar faces of the class of 2004 walking down the hallways of PHS again. For me, that story is over. It was a shock. Suddenly being made aware of a missing piece of my life experience. Somebody just pulled a veritable Jenga piece out of my side, threatening imminent mental collapse. Why was this happening to me? Had I not known this before? Did I not care then? Had I, in all of my infinite spite for everything related to high school and human interaction, dismissed this idea as meaningless in the grander scheme of things?

Don't get me wrong, I don't give a damn about never being able to sit through a class with the same people again. It's just that realization that the format will be changed. Variables will be removed and all new ones added. On top of that, as I have already been physically removed from the day-to-day scenario of interacting with the same people, the process will not be gradual. It is already over.

That sounds slightly inhuman, and it doesn't really capture what I'm trying to say. I won't miss everyone, but I will miss lots of people. I will miss smiles, and voices, and even irritating habits.

Given this sudden absence of... roots?, my mind began to struggle to fill the gap. Who would replace those people who would move on. What are they like? When will I meet them? How? What will they mean to me, and how will the value of the people from the past change?

This was all in the space of around 2 minutes, as I was walking through Hokkaido University's main campus. And at the height of it, I came around the corner and saw this beautiful pond with a little waterfall. The water was clear and at the bottom were millions of different coloured pebbles. I was with Motonari at the time, but he had walked a little ahead and turned down a different path to explore.

I stopped and stared. A stunning cherry tree hung suspended over the main body of the pond.

A single cherry petal fell to the water and rippled.
And I understood.

Pathetic, but consistent

Yep, that's me!

The Sakura have begun to bloom around my house, and two days ago I went around taking some pictures (in honour of your request Melissa). They turned out pretty good, and I can't wait until I have the opportunity to send them.... if that time ever comes. Once again, I have no internet access that is compatible with my laptop. It is sad, but it means that I have lots and lots of pictures to show. So maybe a party when I get back? With a slideshow? That would be fun.

But of course that means I have to work on getting some experiences worth reciting. Herm. It's a project.

I can't think of anything particularily intersting to talk about right now. I have to buy my bus pass later. And my subway pass. My my it is expensive to live in Japan. No joke, the MOST expensive country in the world, without question.

Everything in Japan is small, and expensive.

Yes, I'm aware of the danger. Trying to simultaneously blog and e-mail, with a time limit. I know that the chances of anything coming of it are slim to none. Yet still I try.

That reminds me of a horrible song which I have just erased from my head.

I made apple pie for my host teacher, as well as a bunch of friends who came over to her house. It was pretty fun, but also thoroughly exhausting. And the recipe was entirely from memory, so it wasn't quite as delicious as the real thing. I still have to make two more to give to Hinako's family, as they've been driving me to school everyday, and to Marii's family, for inviting me over and feeding me. I actually kind of enjoy this gift giving business, as pompous as it seems sometimes. It's kind of nice to give things to people.

I'm thinking about trying to get to Kyoto for my birthday. That would kick ass! They have this really cool airfare deal here in Japan where you can go anywhere within Japan during the week of, week after, or week before your birthday for ??10000 . . . so around $100 canadian. Plus my host teacher has friends that I could stay with in Kyoto... and she said that I should just go stay in a temple, because it's really cheap and has all vegetarian meals! Sounds good to me. (And maybe I'd meet that temple man's daughter.... but watch, it'd be Ayaka {*not to be confused with previous host sister Ayaka}...blech)

I had a strange dream, but I can't really remember it now. Have decided to attempt to spike my hair tomorrow. Oh! And I'll be moving to a new host family on ... next monday. So Canada's sunday. They have four dogs and live really close to Hokkaido Jinja, which is the biggest shrine on Hokkaido (I've already been there, hehe), and surrounded by this gorgeous park full of cherry trees that bloom in May. Sweet deal.